Yes, again. It’s been a while since I’ve picked up my vlogging camera and actually hit record.

Everytime I get a spike in “inspiration” or “motivation” I start creating, however, that spike easily dials down and I go back to being stagnant. I would really like to be consistent - but how?! So, I sat down and reviewed everything I do.

What area in my life am I somewhat consistent with?

I really thought about it - and the one thing that I try to maintain anything at all is work. Sad, isn’t it? But it seems that working is one area in my life that I somehow never fail to “show up for”. And so I thought, Why? Why is that? What is it about work that makes me keep going? Well - after thinking about it, the answer was pretty simple - I get paid to do it.

Attaching consistency with dependency

Because I get paid to work, I feel indebted and ensure that I actually deliver. I feel like this alone can be a bigger and deeper content worth talking about, but I’ll just talk about surface level here. The security of knowing that I will receive compensation for something that I’ve been entrusted to do keeps me going, so it seems. Me being consistent is reliant on someone depending on me and me depending on the reward I get from it.

Not reaping is not motivational and doesn’t make me want to work at it more

So, maybe because I’m currently not getting anything out of my personal things just yet is not making me want to do it. I unconciously prioritize the things that currently do provide me compensation. But even after realizing that - it didn’t help.

Doing to start reaping

It doesn’t help, for me, to know that my productivity is dependent on knowing what follows. Because… I still have to keep creating to be able to even be considered to get monetization or make revenue from what I like doing. I kinda sucks knowing that me liking something isn’t enough to get me going. Or is it that?

Thinking of going all in

I did think to myself, that - isn’t it natural to prioritize work that you get paid for over something you don’t? but what if you didn’t have work? What if I had nothing else but my own business/self employment to work on? Would I be more consistent? Could I finally be hyper-focused to get things done and get it done right? But, that would mean foregoing security in funds. I won’t get a fixed income anymore and would have to start from scratch.

Planning ahead in an attempt to stay consistent

I don’t think I could let go of work right now. But, I now have another “source” of motivation, to keep going - which is keep creating so I can fully resign and go full on with my own business. I would really like to reach a tipping point in my life where I can say that I can leave the “employed by someone else” life and run my own business or be self-employed (I say self-employed because that nature of the things I would like to pursue needs me to keep working on it to keep earning. example : I need to film videos, I need to photograph, I need to write to keep earning. If I stop, my source of income stops too). So I sat myself down, again, and thought about it again - I’m really good at planning ahead! I love using ClickUp to get the companies I work and have worked for organized and I’ve had an account for myself for sometime now too but this time, I’m really using it and planning stuff ahead!

Here’s to productivity and the start of building and creating more!

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