“Veronika was almost certain that everything ended with death. That is why she had chosen suicide: freedom at last. Eternal Oblivion.”

“ ‘If God exists, and I truly don’t believe he does, he will know that there are limits to human understanding. He was the one who created this confusion in which there is poverty, injustice, greed and loneliness. He doubtless had the best of intentions, but the results have proved disastrous; if God exists, He will be generous with those creatures who chose to leave this Earth early, and he might even apologise for having made us spend time here.’”

There’s so much in the words that the author chose that resonates with me; and while reading along, this struck.

I grew up being told that God is the reason why we live and He is everything. However, it really confused me as a child to hear that God is someone to be feared. If God was meant to be our “Father”, our creator, all mighty, loving, and generous, why is this someone we’re meant to fear?

I started understanding later on that what fear meant was to be respected. But why choose the word fear? I thought it was just a case of “wrong words used” but I hear priests say this, devouts, and other religious people.

Now, in relation to the excerpt from Paulo Coelho’s book - at this point of reading, I agreed with Veronika’s decision for deciding to end her life (If you’ve read the book, she states the 2 reasons why she decides to do so).

I was talking with my husband last night as well about how, somehow, being oblivious to things helps you move along. What do I mean? As an example, When I decided to move out, the only thing that came to my mind was wanting to get out from where I was. I didn’t even think about the additional responsibilities that came with living on my own or anything else for that matter. I wanted out and that was it - and so I did.

At the time, It didn’t matter to me how I was going to live or how life would become if I did move out - and to be honest, I’m grateful that things happened the way it did. If I had to open my consciousness to all the things that came with moving out and being on my own, I don’t think I could have done it; I say this now after looking back at everything and I say this because I hear so many of my friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, and even random people I don’t personally know but talk with, share how just thinking about the responsibilities that come with living on their own hinders them from actually doing it.

It’s similar to people saying how they’re not ready to have kids because they read about how expensive life can get when they have one, or the stress it comes with, or the life they may end up having when they have one - even though they love kids - that pre-emptive thinking ends up scaring them and halting them from pursuing what they love.

When you think ahead, you really start to question things. True enough, if you have to ask yourself all the time “is this the life I wish to keep living?” even if it is a good life, you want to keep it that way.

Veronika deciding to end her life while it’s great is actually something I’ve pondered and considered myself. Did I want to die? No. Was it a thought I thought was good? Yes.

Why? Because, true enough, everything ends in death. Everything.

In the book, Veronika points out how she wanted to die while in her youth because growing old would basically cause more struggles.

“She would gain nothing by continuing to live; indeed, the likelihood of suffering only increased.”

The other reason, she started to be aware of what was going on in the world.

“Everything was wrong, and she had no way putting things right - that gave her a sense of complete powerlessness”

At some point in life, we’ve likely heard the line “we exist for a reason” - but what if our reason for existing just doesn’t help?

If I try to think about this logically and rationally, with a simple, yes or no as answers to everything, I completely agree that ending life while it’s great and still somewhat oblivious is a great way to exit this world. “A graceful exit”.

If you’re someone reading this and have not read the book, one thing to note is that Veronika didn’t decide to die because her life was miserable or that she didn’t have people who loved her.

Paulo Coelho really has a way of writing that makes me feel like I can relate to the character - and I’ve read 3 other of his books. It’s so odd to be reading someone who isn’t me, doesn’t have the same life as me, or remotely even sounds like me, but I feel for and relate on some level that makes me feel like, somehow, it’s me. Well, this could just be me feeling into the character’s so much but that is how I feel!

I’m loving reading this and want to see how things turn out for Veronika.